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Tom Popp can eat just one Lays potato chip
Tom Popp is strong enough to punch through steel, yet
delicate enough to cradle a newborn to sleep
Tom Popp never hides, he only seeks
Occasionally Tom Popp will call the Power Rangers just
to say hi.
Tom Popp when clean-shaven, radiates the heat of 3 suns
Tom Popp has no concept of time; if you go to his house you
won't find a single clock. When you ask to leave because its
getting late, he just stares at you blankly till you sit down
If you can see Tom Popp he can see you. If you cant see
Tom Popp, you may be seconds away from death
Tom Popp's body hair is 10 times stronger than spider
silk, and 50 times stickier
Who are Tom Popp's parents? Might Justice and Cunning.
Yes all three
Tom Popp's dog is trained to pick-up its own poop, because
Tom Popp doesnt take shit from anyone
If Tom Popp had a dollar and you had a dollar, Tom Popp
would kick your ass and take your dollar
Tom Popp would hit that
Tom Popp just pissed YOUR pants
Tom Popp has a hoard of trained bees under his beard
to let loose at a moments notice
The cheif export of Tom Popp, is pain
Tom Popp lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks
Tom Popp can make a woman climax by simply pointing
at her and saying, "Booya."
Tom Popp has a dick so big that it has its own dick.
And Tom Popp's dick's dick is bigger than yours
Tom Popp's advice? Grow a beard
Tom Popp's tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried
At Tom Popp's stag party he ate the entire cake before his
friends could tell him there was a stripper in it
For Tom Popp, pimping is easy
Tom Popp makes onions cry
Tom Popp is currently suing NBC, claming that "Law"
and "Order" are trademarks for his left and right fists
Tom Popp isnt God, but he beats him in golf
Every cell in Tom Popp's body has its own beard
Tom Popp is where babies come from
Tom Popp is the reason bad things happen to good people
Tom Popp can lift a mountain over his head with one hand,
while making a perfect pitcher of Kool-Aid with the other
Tom Popp can charge a cell phone just by rubbing it on his beard
Tom Popp once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy
Tom Popp can travel through time by runnig 88 miles an hour
Tom Popp's blood type is D.O.A.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he turns into Tom Popp
Superman owns a pair of Tom Popp pajamas
Tom Popp can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his beard
If the coach had put Tom Popp in in the fourth quarter, they
would have won state. No doubt about it
Tom Popp was one of the original members of Wu-Tang Clan,
but quit becasue they werent street enough
Tom Popp can slam a revolving door
Tom Popp's beard has a representative in congress
Tom Popp's pubic hair is twice as thick as his beard
but not nearly as deadly
A man once asked if Tom Popp's real name was Thomas.
Tom Popp did not respond. He just stared at him till
he exploded
Tom Popp owns and operates a restaurant in Montgomery.
The only thing on the menu is knuckle sandwhiches
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll. If you were to break Tom Popp
open you would find another Tom Popp inside, only smaller
and angrier
Tom Popp's genes arent double helix, they are barbed wire
Tom Popp can put a quarter in his ass and shit out a dime
and two nickles, there is a five cent charge
When Tom Popp sends in his taxes, he mails blank forms and
only includes a picture of himself. Crouched and ready to attack.
Tom Popp has not had to pay taxes ever
Tom Popp can turn back time simply by staring at the clock
and flexing
Tom Popp once tobogganed dowm Mt Everest and sprinted back
to the top when he realized he lost his mittens
Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads WWTPD
Tom Popp went as Tom Popp for Halloween. He got twice
as much candy as anybody else
Tom Popp's beard hit .370 in the minors before hurting it knee
The movie Anaconda was filmed in Tom Popp's pants
Tom Popp kicked a 50 yard field goal while having sex
Tom Popp's last option is violence. It is also his only option
There is no chin behind Tom Popp's beard. only another fist
When you open a can of whoop ass, Tom Popp jumps out
Tom Popp once got 100 percent on a calculus exam by writing
violence for every question. Tom Popp solves all problems with violence
It's a little know fact that only three things can survive the
apocalypse: cockroaches, Tom Popp, and Tom Popp's beard
If you know someone that doesnt like Tom Popp, you
wont know them for long
A handicap parking sign does not signify that the spot is for
handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning that the spot
belong to Tom Popp and that you will be handicapped if you park there
Tom Popp clogs the toilet even when he pisses
Tom Popp frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own
Tom Popp remembers the Alamo, and he isn't happy about it
As a teen Tom Popp impregnated every nun in a convent tucked
away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to
the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team
in professional football history
Tom Popp can run so fast he can turn off the bedroom light
and be under the covers before the room gets dark
Tom Popp once ordered is BigMac at Burger King
and got one
The only thing Tom Popp ever lost was his virginity
The day Tom Popp sleeps with your wife will be the
happiest day of your life
The only line Tom Popp stands in, is the line of fire
Originally Tom Popp was going to play the role of Jack Bauer
on the show 24. The producers changed their minds when they
realized the show would last only 17 minutes
There are two types of women: those who want to sleep with
Tom Popp, and those who want to sleep with Tom Popp again
Tom Popp once visited the Virgin Islands. Shortly after they
were renamed the islands
Tom Popp does not leave messages, Tom Popp leaves warnings
We all know the magic word is please. As in a sentence "please
don't hit a homerun off of me." Too bad Tom Popp doesnt
believe in magic
Water boils faster when Tom Popp watches it
Tom Popp answers the phone GO. This is not permission to speak
but it is your cue to start running for your life
Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out
what side Tom Popp is on yet
Tom Popp was once on Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing
around awkwardly waiting for the wheel to stop
Tom Popp has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all
50 states in order to legally wear pants
Everything Tom Popp touches does not turn to gold,
instead it grows a beard
People say the truth hurts, it hurts a lot more when it comes
from Tom Popp
When Tom Popp breaks wind it stays broken
The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Tom Popp
All 99 of Jay-Z's problems are Tom Popp
Sega made an arcade game once where you fought Tom Popp.
Every time you put a quarter in, the screen immediatly displayed
"You Lose."
Tom Popp can kick a fart back into an ass
Tom Popp has only one hand, the upper hand
Objects in Tom Popp's rearview mirror appear at correct distances
Tom Popp's calnder goes from March 31st to April 2nd
no one fools Tom Popp
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Tom Popp's pc will crash
Tom Popp once struck lightning
As a child, Tom Popp played hungry hungry hippos
with real hippos
The only time Tom Popp was wrong, was the time he thought
he made a mistake
Tom Popp does not wear a cup, he wears a barrel
The Black-Eyed Peas were simply known as The Peas
until they crossed Tom Popp
Tom Popp is like corn, no matter how much shit he is
in he still comes out in one piece
The one-dollar bill originally had Tom Popp on it but his
beard kept getting caught in vending machines
When Tom Popp cuts in line, the line bleeds
Once, a cobra bit Tom Popp's leg. After five days of
excruciating pain the cobra died
Upon arriving at the moon Neil Armstrong caught a 382,500
kilometer touchdown pass from Tom Popp
Tom Popp once thought he was caught between a rock and
a hard place. He quickly realized he was standing
between two mirrors
Tom Popp is always on top during sex because
Tom Popp never F's up
On the comments part in Tom Popp's first grade report card,
it said, "What Mr. Popp lacks in social skills he makes up
for it in the bedroom."
The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer expect 73
virgins. The best they can do is 73 women who already had
sex with Tom Popp
Pictures of Tom Popp are worth 2000 words
Tom Popp doesn't sleep, he waits
Tom Popp doesn't read books, he just stares
at them till he gets the information he wants
Tom Popp is the reason Wlado is hiding